I am so rubbish at blogging!

But I really want to record as much of this journey as possible especially as I am so close to the end of it!
Have been a tough few weeks weight loss wise, I went up-down-up-down-up-down-sts. Un heard of so far over the last 48 weeks and hopefully not to be repeated. I spent alot of time feeling down about the gains but then I thought about it properly and realised, when I was happy with my weight I was around 10st 6. I am 10st 10lbs at the moment so if my body was comfortable at the weight which I am guessing it is as it was there for a few years obviously its going to be a bit harder right?! Maybe I am wrong but maybe I am not. I just need to keep focused and remember all the reasons why I am doing this. When I say all the reasons I actually mean the one reason - my wedding dress. I have never loved an item as much as i love this dress. Although I started slimming world before even trying the dress on when I did it made me more determind to keep going and since last September I have determind to order a size 14 in the dress. Something I did on the 17th April!!! And even thats a little too big :)

But now I have realised that my weight was affecting me in ways I never even noticed. I just feel more chilled out in myself. I am happy to walk around the house with no clothes on, happy to sit on h2b knee, let him snuggle up to me in bed without worrying his arm is on my fat bits. These are things about myself that I probably never even noticed bothered me at the time and now I cant believe that I went so long allowing them to. I also now dont feel like the frumpy one of my friends, cos I am a couple of years older than most of them I often felt old and dated compared to them, now we wear the same kind of clothes from the same shops and I dont have to worry if my label sticks out as I am happy with the size thats on there.

Probably the biggest difference in me is how much healthier I feel. I have joined a gym (and actually go) I have even joined a proper running club (me!!!). I just have so much more energy and can stay up past 10pm and everything. I might me the slowest at running club but I actually dont care, I am there I am doing it and for now thats all that matters to me. By going and running I am making an effort to be better at something, being the slowest on the run is better than being the laziest sat at home on sofa. Pace will come but I am not running to be fastest I am running to get/feel fitter. And afterall someone has to the slowest right lol!

My body has changed so much, I can actually see a shape rather than just seeing a beach ball with arms. I am not perfect and probably never will be but I am starting to feel thin. My god thats something I never ever thought I would say again, me Cheryl Louise Reid feels thin! Such a nice feeling. I nearly cried in the changing rooms today when I tried on my pretty dress for Saturday - it just didnt look like me standing there. I am so used to seeing myself as big and moaning about what I see looking back from the mirror. Not anymore. How odd this is going to be, but its the best feeling ever to actually not hate how you look.

I want to get everyone who is unhappy with their weight and tell them about how good this feels and how it might be rubbish/hard work/soul destroying at times but one day like today you will see a result and you will feel amazing. Ok I might sound like a loser but i honestly never thought losing weight would be this good. If I did I would have done it years ago properly!!!

48 weeks I have doing this - thats nearly a whole year, a year to change your life isnt a lot really!

I am going to go before I sound even more like a loser!

Happy happy days!!!! x